abusive behavior, emotional abuse, healing from abuse, healing from emotional abuse, verbal abuse

How to stand up to emotional abuse

Sometimes, the pain originated by emotional abuse is dull, consistent and makes a fog of your brain. You know you are sad and miserable, but can’t pinpoint exactly what would you like to have changed in your spouse’s behavior.

If you wish to consider a bit of assertive behavior, you need get a clear idea of what is irritating you. If he/she is ignoring you in front of your friends, or puts you down in front of your family with sarcastic comments, that is clearly a hostile behavior that needs addressing. What is the behavior that you want, instead of this? Acceptance, care, attention? Be clear on what you want.

Also, be clear and firm on your personal rights as a dignified person; and firmly believe that your rights, needs, and dignity are just as valid and important as anyone else’s, regardless of age, power, role, or gender.

You need to define a change that you need from someone, and/or to set limits with someone who’s behavior is unacceptable or hurtful to you.

b) Begin describing the negative behavior in clear words:
“When you make sarcastic and demeaning jokes about me in front of my family, as you did last night at my mother’s birthday party…”

then state the impact on you: “I feel ignored and rejected.”

then declare that you want a change: “and I need you to (agree to make a specific behavior change: “remember that you are my husband and should not be attacking me in public. If there is something you want improved, talk to me in private.)”

Your purpose is exactly not to blame, but to deliver information about the impact of their behavior to the offending party.

Messages centered on the “I” pro noun, delivered calmly, with steady, non-apologetic eye contact – have a better chance of being received as information, and not criticism.

The continued use of this response is necessary to provide the abusive person with a steady feedback on the impact of their behaviors…..which should extinguish them, if there is a willingness to change.

Are you interested in reading more about assertive behaviors? Here is more emotional abuse information. Also, remember that you have other resources to deal with emotional abuse

healing from emotional abuse

Healing Emotional Abuse By Taking Back Your Freedom

2282606553_4063fc8a91One of the effects of emotional abuse is hopelessness and depression.  It depletes almost all of your body’s energies, leaving you helpless and hopeless.  As you may have noticed, abuse also clouds the clarity of your thoughts,  keeping you confuse all the time. There is a confusion, and it is between the supossed role of your partner, chosen to be your loving husband, and his actual behavior which is clearly abusive. Your heart tells you that this is the person selected to share your life; while your mind is protesting the constant humiliation and isolation he subjects you to.


At first you may not notice that you are in an abusive relationship if it is “only” emotional abuse. In fact, you may not even accept the fact that you are in one. Emotional abuse is far different from other kinds of abuses such as sex abuse and physical abuse.  The pain, fear and the feeling of unworthiness usually linger for a long time…  This is why healing emotional abuse is an important task for you, as a victim.

Frankly speaking, it takes a lot of courage to leave behind an abusive relationship.  If you already have done it, you are one of the most courageous women in this world today.  One of the worse parts in an abusive relationship is that the battle is also within you.  It is not love or dependency that keeps you in the relationship but it is the fear of being unwanted and unlovable. This fear starts creeping up within your mind with your husband’s constant insults.

The human mind is unique.  It absorbs information quickly especially if the information comes in a repetitive way.  For instance, you constantly listen or watch MTV.  Typically, music channels repeat the best music.  Even though you don’t really like the song, you will still end up memorizing some parts of it.  And eventually, you get used to it and could end up getting to like it.  So if you listen to your husband’s insults every day, day in and day out, you will eventually end up believing him. When this happens, you will be addicted to his demeaning comments and it will get more complicated to get out of the relationship.

As a victim, the best gift you can give to yourself is taking your freedom back and consider healing emotional abuse. In order for you to do this, you must accept the fact that you are already being abused.  And no, your husband is not right.  Every woman is worthy of being loved.  The truth is that he is the one afraid of not being worthy of your love.  He is the one who cannot live without your acceptance and recognition.  He is the one who causes pain and suffering within the family by using abuse as the way to bond you with him.

Healing emotional abuse takes time but it is worth every minute of it.  It involves acceptance and realization.  You must accept that the relationship is already broken and cannot be fixed because of the abuse. Your lesson now is to overcome this situation and learn to stand up against this painful situation.


First, you must realize that you are not the guilty one here.  Honestly, you have done nothing wrong at this point.  Blaming yourself will get you nowhere.  As a woman, learn to love yourself first before others.  Your number one friend is always yourself.  As a mother, learn to love your children as much as you love your husband.  You may think that staying is good for the children but it is not.  Staying means learning a harsh reality for them, where they will learn how a human being can control, humiliate and destroy another.  You do not want your children to grow up in fear. So love yourself by learning how to defend yourself from abusive behavior, and if he doesn’t learn to treat you well, then plan how to live by yourself.  You deserve it.

healing from abuse

Overcome Psychological Effects of Emotional Abuse and Heal

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Probably the worst kind of abuse is emotional abuse. It is a form of relationship abuse that most of us do not have an idea that it existed.  Truthfully, even the victims of this psychological abuse do not realize that they are being abused.  Basically, emotional abuse comprises of swearing, using foul language, saying demeaning words, lying, accusing, criticizing and dominating.  It aims to wound you emotionally and not physically.  The effects of abuse on women is they tend to behave more and more aloof, experience low self-esteem, lose confidence in herself and become prone to depression and anxiety. In turn, most victims carry this burden throughout their life. Getting over and healing from abuse is possible.  You are the only one who has the power and total control on your body, mind and soul.

 

First and foremost, the healing from psychological abuse can only begin once you accept that you are already a victim in an abusive relationship. You cannot heal if you are at the state of denial.  Acceptance is the key to move on and start your life all over again.  If you see that your husband abusive behavior is acceptable, then you are not ready to let go and you cannot heal.  Once you accept that you are a victim, you can easily see his faults and eventually you can build up the courage to defend yourself, overcoming abuse in this way.

 

As a victim, you usually feel guilty.  Due to your husband manipulation, he convinced you that you are always at the wrong side of the fence though you are not.  As a result, you become too prone to stress, anxiety and depression. The worse thing could happen is you may develop panic attack.To add with this, your husband can manipulate you by constantly giving false hope that he will change. Learn to place a boundary and what is enough is enough.

 

Healing from the effects of emotional abuse means you need to build a new relationship again not with another person but with yourself.  Create harmony in you by loving and trusting yourself again.  Bear in mind that the last person you can count on when all things fail is yourself.  Be confident and realize your true worth.  You are a woman of substance and you are well loved. After all you have your friends and family that love you and support you.

 

You know that you are healed from emotional psychological abuse if you are able to forget about the past and it already has no control over your life.  The past cannot be changed so in order for you to cope up you need to accept that bad things happen in your life.  This might sound cruel but the effects of abuse were part of your reality… You are also healed if you know you are ready to meet and interact with new people again.  However sometimes, it will be difficult for you to trust another man.  This is relatively normal.  Use your instinct if the person is trustworthy or not.  The best advice is love yourself.  There is no man on this planet that is perfect.  So don’t be too hard on yourself and accept who you are.


Healing from abuse is an option we have. Overcoming emotional abuse is what make survivors.  I believe in the potential of survivors of abuse because our survival is an expression of limitless potential.

healing from emotional abuse

Healing from Emotional Abuse: How to take Up Courage to Heal and Live to the Fullest

hoto By Pierre Rousseau / Rex Features DEPRESSED TEENAGER
photo By Pierre Rousseau / Rex Features DEPRESSED TEENAGER

Similar to other types of abuse, emotional abuse is something you should not ignore.  Every day thousands of women are reported being physical abused by their husbands.  However, the agony of emotional abuse was and is rarely mentioned. Do you have the courage to heal?

Due to the complexity of emotional abuse, emotional abuse victims will stay much longer in an abusive relationship than the physically abused person. Fortunately, getting over and healing from emotional abuse is relatively possible.  All it takes is courage to heal,  time and perseverance.

 

In an abusive relationship, your abuser will isolate you from your friends and family.  Generally, emotional abusers want only one thing from you: total control.

It is not love that they need but it is the power of domination. Emotional abusers can make you feel useless and unworthy. Though they won’t admit it, they are individuals in fact insecure of themselves.  They want to control you so that you won’t leave them.

 

The abuse usually starts after the marriage.  Prior to that, most abusers are loving, caring, and affectionate individuals.  The torture begins after the abuser isolates you from your friends and family.

A typical abusive relationship consists of the dependent and dominant party. Abusers effectively dominate the lives of their victims by making their victims dependent on them. As a victim, you will not have enough courage to fight back because of fear of his escalating anger, and possible retaliation.

 

In addition, you are barred from joining activities external to the couple.  You also need the permission and approval from your abuser before you are allowed to be doing things independently. As a consequence, healing from emotional abuse may take time and effort. In fact, getting out of it alive is very complicated as you are having low and lower self esteem and confidence.

Most victims cannot leave their abusers due to the constant fear they feel and the feeling of being unlovable. Some won’t leave because they are still hopeful that the relationship can be fixed.  Well in fact, giving false hope is an abuser’s manipulative strategy.

 

Healing from emotional abuse starts first with the sheer realization of your situation.  Realizing that you are a victim of an abuse will put you on your feet and build up courage to defend yourself. You can only build courage to fight back if you see how the relationship is making you deeply unhappy.

You cannot heal simply by staying in an abusive situation which is not addressed and left to run its course.  However if your partner is willing to seek professional help, it will be your decision to stay or not to stay, according to what you see about the possibility of him changing.

 

The mental and emotional effects of abuse typically linger afterwards.You can cope easily if you surround yourself with your friends and family, specifically the people who love you and make you feel worthy and loved.

Another benefit of this, you will be well protected from your abusive husband as most of the times abusers stalk their victims after they abandon the unhealthy spousal situation.

 

Do something that you love and enjoy, every day.  Start living your life the way as you want it.  Pick a hobby that will enrich and educate you.  Build up your confidence and self-esteem by participating in self development programs accessible around you, and keep doing them regardless the demands of your ex-partner about your return.

 

the silent treatment

Argue and Fight: Can The Silent Treatment Go Too Far?

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Can giving someone the silent treatment be considered a form of abuse?

Conflict Coach, Melody Brooke shares her thoughts…

Ask Dan And Jennifer – http://www.askdanandjennifer.com
Melody Brooke – http://www.ohwowthischangeseverything.com/

Duration : 0:2:21

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The Quality of Your Life Depends on Your Positive Emotions