Tag Archives: Fulfillment

self-esteem

Your Low Self Confidence is a Signal of Emotional Damage

emotional damage

Are you presenting a “nice person” image of yourself
only to avoid all confrontations and
yet somehow still feeling unhappy or left out?

Is emotional damage now hidden in your present life? As a child you always wanted to be accepted, and you learned some tricks that gave results for a while. Creating a strong image of a Nice Person helped you to feel more accepted by your parents, siblings, and friends. This nice person always molded to fit the group, accepting the ruling of others without asking for the chance to include your own needs into their agenda. Doing that, your own needs became ignored by others and second priority to yourself, sometimes having to be suppressed completely.

This may be what others expected from you, providing a sense of ease, but you paid a very high price in emotional damage.  After many years of doing the “nice person act” you find your energy is sapped, that you feel empty, devoid of all motivation and sense of purpose.

It is at this moment that you realize the need to choose between pleasing others and losing yourself, or fulfilling your own needs and claiming what you really are, what you really want … and repair the emotional damage.
But fulfillment of your needs is only possible if you learn how to assert yourself effectively and grow your own identity: Self-assertion that is too strong, or aggressive, will provoke powerful reactions that can be stressing or even damaging to your relationships, and being too passive or having a weak self-esteem will leave you very vulnerable to whatever others need or want, sending you back to the starting point.

HAVING BETTER SELF-ESTEEM:

If you gradually build self-esteem, you will :

  • Feel adequate, no matter the circumstances
  • Accept and celebrate your own merits and accomplishments
  • Always feel security and a sense of direction.
  • Stop emotional abuse and mistreatment from the start
  • Attract the happiness you dream of
  • Be able to confidently negotiate any difficult issue.
  • Communicate your views with ease, even in stressful situations
  • Establish your needs and boundaries

To your happiness!

 

emotional abuse, healing from abuse, healing from emotional abuse, verbal abuse

Knowing Your Life’s Purpose

Knowing your mission in life – your purpose, your goals, how you will achieve them – can help you greatly if you are trying to stop or heal emotional abuse.

The reasons for this are simple. When you know who you are and what you want, no one else has the power to knock you off your horse. You are firm in your beliefs and cannot be swayed by an abuser’s tactics and attempts to demean you.

However, if you don’t think beyond “my mission is to be with this man,” your emotional state will be forever linked with that of his, and healing emotional abuse will be next to impossible. Loving another person is important, perhaps the most important thing a human can do for themselves. But there must be something more than that; otherwise it is an obsession, a slave driver.

Many people think that when we say “life purpose,” we refer to a pre-destined plan that is out there waiting for us. That is not true – your life is what you make of it, every second of every day. Some people clearly know what their skills and joys are – they choose to devote themselves to those skills, and that it their life purpose.

Don’t think you have any skills worth devoting yourself to? Then don’t look for one. Simply think of what makes you really and truly happy, every time you do it. Whether it is community service, baking, rock climbing… the possibilities are endless. The point, however, is that it is something that it done; an action that moves you beyond yourself to give you sense of fulfillment.