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emotional abuse, healing from abuse, healing from emotional abuse, mental abuse, verbal abuse

How to Heal from Emotional Abuse

If you want to heal from emotional abuse, you may want to start with your childhood. Emotional abuse often has roots going all the way back to early development. Emotional abuse of children can result in serious emotional and behavioral problems, including depression, lack of attachment, low cognitive ability, and poor social skills – all things that affect adult life and especially adult relationships.

In studies, children who were emotionally abused were found to grow up angry and uncooperative, lacking in creativity, persistence, and enthusiasm.

Modeling is especially important here, because the child may either imitate violent behavior, or learn that being abused is normal. Once gained, these roles are very hard to unlearn, and set the tone and model of behavior for their adult relationships.

When put into action, angry and violent verbal abuse such as blaming, ridiculing, insulting, swearing, yelling and humiliation will have long-term negative effects on a woman’s self-esteem and contribute to feelings of uselessness, worthlessness and self-blame. Her reaction to and acceptance of abuse may have been learned when she was a child. It is important to recognize this behavior and learn how to reverse it.

Emotional abuse can have serious physical and psychological consequences for women, including severe depression, anxiety, persistent headaches, back and limb problems, and stomach problems.

In order to heal from emotional abuse we need to bear in mind the following:

  • Become aware of your situation, call abuse as abuse and stop accepting his “tough love”.
  • Recognize that change is earned – it will come only if you work for it. Nobody will rescue you against your will.
  • Research emotional abuse books and learn as much as you can.
  • Learn to recognize abusive relationships and how to avoid them, everywhere.
  • Begin building a support system by reaching out to community resources.
  • When in doubt, find your best resource: a professional advisor educated in abusive relationships.

• What does it take to heal from emotional abuse?

In order to live a happy and peaceful life, we need to learn ways to achieve and meet our needs and goals in an ethical and healthy manner; we need to receive sound affection, we need to be accepted and respected for who we are, we need to be able to meet our basic needs (material, emotional, spiritual, professional, etc.), we need to feel we can reach our goals in life successfully, and achieve every task we carry on (study, work, career, etc.) without feeling threatened by others.

Grown adults need to recognize and process childhood abuse in order to move forward and function in a normal, healthy relationship. In other words, it is hard to know where you’re going if you haven’t come to terms with where you’ve been.

Nora Femenia, PH.D is passionate about supporting women’s recovery from emotional abuse once and for all. Nora has created a powerful set of tools for helping women break out of the mind-set that keeps them in a toxic relationship by first discovering unconscious beliefs and family blueprints.

To know more about her latest book “Recovering From Emotionally Abusive Relationships” please visit   http://www.healingemotionalabuse.com

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emotional abuse

What is emotional abuse by an abusive personality?

5 Comments

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 1.5 year after I left my ex-husband who commited adultery. I suffered from depression and being in constant fear/incapable of function as a normal person anymore at that time. My boyfriend take care of me, but my emotion has beeing going up & down. I’m extremely suspicious & worried about things. I’ve been contributing to most of the expenses, monetary issue has add on to the tension, although he has been working hard trying his best to get income. Until a few occassions, he couldn’t take my unreasonable suspicious anymore (when girls talk/sms him), he just burst, broke things and wanted to hit me. I’m still feeling very fearful for one that happened juz 2 days ago esp I witness violent in my childhood. Is my behaviour an emotional abuse to him? It has been a few times this happened and once he wanted to hit my mum too, I’m worried something serious will happen one day. What should I do, leave him? Other time, he is very caring & responsible. How should I react?

There are so many issues and questions going on here that it is hard to know were to begin. First, I have to say what your boyfriend is doing is the emotional abuse. He has not actually hit you, but has made a real threat. This can actually increase your thoughts of mistrusting him in other areas.

He may not like the suspicions, but I do not think that there is anyway that this can be seen as emotional abuse. If you are not using threat of harm or trying to demean him then it is not emotional abuse. In the case he has an abusive personality, some things can change.

I’m not you so I can’t tell you exactly what is going on with you, or how you should react. If your thoughts of suspicion are nearly constant and interfer with daily life that may be an indication of anxiety or even OCD. Your emotional highs and lows are enought of an indicator to me that you should be seeking professional help.

You could even consider couples therapy for you and your boyfriend. However, my honest thoughts on anyone who even threatens violence is to get rid of them and fast. You never know when the threat will become an actual act.

Take this advice from someone who was married. After months of small fights over things like money and childcare he pulled a sword on me and threatened to kill me. I never gave him another chance to make real on his threat. He did this when I was three months pregnant and our toddler son was watching. You have to think about more than just your when you make these choices.