Tag Archives: Consequences

abusive behavior, emotional abuse, healing from abuse, healing from emotional abuse, mental abuse, verbal abuse

Learn How to Stop All Abuse Now

Here’s a statistic that will grab your attention: According to the FBI, 1 in 4 girls are sexually assaulted before the age of 18. Sexual abuse is a prevalent and ever-occurring social issue, and absolutely necessary to focus on. Here’s another one: According to Women’s College Hospital, in a study of 1,000 women 15 years of age or older, 36% experienced emotional abuse while growing up; 43% had experienced some form of abuse as children or adolescents; 39% reported experiencing emotional abuse in a relationship in the past five years. If sexual and emotional abuse are so prevalent among women of all ages, what can be done to stop it, and to heal it?

The truth is that however strong a victim may look on the outside, abuse leaves deep emotional scars that the victims themselves are unaware of. Those scars can affect anything from how one interacts with others to how one dresses to what one eats to how far one aims to go in life.

Here are some things you can do if you are being emotionally or sexually abused, or if you have been in the past:

  • Recognize the long lasting effects; don’t ignore them;

  • Educate yourself about the consequences of past abuse on your general health;

  • Learn how to recognize the signs and symptoms of abuse (sometimes what “abuse” is can be hard to recognize)

  • Be patient with yourself; give yourself time to process emotional outbursts and icky situations (instead of pushing them away and blocking off your mind) so that they don’t create toxic energy in your mind.

You can also order your copy of “Recovering From Emotionally Abusive Relationships” in order to learn more tips and techniques that will help you grow your self-esteem, take hold of and accept your past, and even confront your abuser. You don’t have to live with abuse for a single day; nor do you have to suffer alone under the memory of it.

If you would prefer to have a private, one-on-one phone session with a conflict coach well-versed in handling emotional abuse, you can visit Conflict Coach to learn more about a free coaching session.

Nora Femenia is a well known coach, conflict solver and trainer, and CEO of Creative Conflict Resolutions, Inc. Visit her coaching site to be connected to her innovative conflict solutions, positive suggestions and life-changing coaching sessions, along with blog updates, news, and more! Visit Conflict Coach today.
abusive behavior, emotional abuse, healing from abuse, healing from emotional abuse, mental abuse, verbal abuse

How to Recover from Verbal Abuse

Once you realize that you have been living under a lot of verbal abuse, and there is this strong feeling that you will not tolerate it any longer, you need to come up with a plan. In order to reform and change your relationship, and in doing so recover from verbal abuse, you need to cover some basic areas:

1.    Realize that you cannot change your partner, only your reaction to him or her. You have probably been showing your partner how damaging these behaviors are and how they are affecting your self-image in the hope that he will change, but getting nowhere.

2.       Accept that ultimately you cannot force him. Your partner must recognize it and decide to end the behavior on his or her own, or suffer the consequences.

3.       Recognize the abuser’s own insecurity. Abuse most often exists because the abuser is emotionally weak, and feels that by controlling others, he is secure.

4.       Establish that all aspects of the relationship are going to be treated with respect. Strictly ban name calling, character judgements, raised voices, etc. Make it clear that if either partner violates these rules, the two of you will separate until you can agree to follow the guidelines again.

5.       Accept that mutual respect may never be gained. The important thing is to stay committed to a healthy, nurturing relationship – even if it means you must look for one elsewhere. Without that commitment, it is impossible to recover from verbal abuse.

6.       Express yourself. In many cases it is found that both partners hide important emotions, sometimes without realizing it. This is a problem because establishing boundaries requires acknowledging that a situation makes you angry and hurt. When you hide the anger and other emotions, all that is left is fear, and that only perpetuates the abuse.

7.       Whether you want to heal the relationship, or simply learn what went wrong, look at the dynamics of your relationship. Why are you together? Is it merely physical attraction, or can you learn from each other intellectually and emotionally as well? Delving into the past is important as well – sometimes, you may help each other unlock old hurts or unlearn aggressive behavior by determining where they came from. Even if you need to end it later, you will leave with a better understanding of yourself and your partner’s relationship.

8.       Use your instincts. We assume that our partner is our protector and is charge of our safety, and this is not always true. Only you can decide which decisions and actions are right for you, which will make you happy and which will drain you.

9.       Seek professional help. If you have trouble approaching your partner on your own, a third party may be able to help facilitate your approach. It is important that the support system uses a no-blame approach, so that your recovery from emotional abuse occurs in a healthy enviornment.

10.   Say goodbye with grace. Sometimes the abuse esclates to a point of no return, and if that is the case, there is no shame in getting yourself out. If you fail to pay attention and recognize that poor treatment is unacceptable, you thwart our chance for happiness.

Nora Femenia, Ph.D is passionate about supporting women’s recovery from emotional abuse once and for all. Nora has created a powerful set of tools for helping women break out of the mind-set that keeps them in a toxic relationship by first discovering unconscious beliefs and family blueprints.

To know more about her latest book “Recovering From Emotionally Abusive Relationships” go to: http://www.healingemotionalabuse.com