Tag Archives: Survival Skills

emotional abuse

A Valentine for a victim of emotional child abuse: yourself!

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Have you been around some abuse victims episode recently? or is there in your memory some past abuse?

This is what happened yesterday: in a general store, getting things for my kitchen, all the decor was full with different kinds of red hearts…Of course! It’s Valentine’s Day!….

Suddenly I found myself grabbing one of the balloons…and my left hand felt curiously small, kind of tiny…it would not let the balloon go as I went through the cashier. She rang everything up and I found myself walking out with a gorgeous red balloon with the “I love you” message screaming across it.

My rational mind asking: what’s going on here? why did you buy this balloon? who is this balloon for?

And the answer was loud and clear:  this balloon is for my inner child abused…Of course! she needs to hear from me, her adult self, that I cherish her!

As I never forgot her completely, the abused child she was, but went through periods in which I could only remember the painful parts of her life I wanted so much to forget, now I have a better picture. I can see all her creativity, her survival skills deploying under extreme duress, emotional child abuse and constant lack of appreciation. I can see her resourcefulness to find small joys in a bleak childhood, which translated into being a smart survivor now…she survived her child abusers with all her heart intact!

And this is a good opportunity to tell her, with all my love, that I recognize her, appreciate her tenacity and ability to resist oppression from her child abuser without denying the joys of life. She was a joyful survivor, never a bitter one. Always founding in a bit of sunshine, a flower, a smile, the energy to keep living, learning and dreaming a better future…Of course you are my Valentine!

To my inner child, the victim of emotional child abuse, but also of physical abuse, now I’m sending this loving Valentine; you deserve it more than anybody else. Wherever the alternative time you are in now, you are in my heart, always…thanks for surviving everything and bringing me here and now!

abusive behavior, emotional abuse, healing from abuse, mental abuse, verbal abuse

Is Emotional Abuse Wrecking You?

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From a forum about emotional abuse and domestic violence, a posting by Ann called my attention:

“First, I have not answered sooner, because my emotional and physical state have me in a daze. I’m terrified I am having a complete physical and mental collapse. I’m very shaky right now .. I’m scared not of him at this second … but that I I’m losing it altogether right now.

I have symptoms like: anger, rage, depression, shock, crying, depression/wish & wanting out … and then physically: sick to stomach, back aching, wish I could vomit, achy all over, shaky, unable to function … what is happening to me???? I need to STOP this now. I have to feel better. My mind is going in circles about what can I do.

My docs feel all my emotional problems (depression, anxiety, agoraphobia and physical ailments (the list is too long) are due to extreme stress. They say yes, you really suffer from major depression, but he made it much, much worse.

Maybe that is why no medication, of the hundreds I tried works. My stress and depression level can’t even be reached…”

And on and on Ann goes, describing the trap she is in: too sick to leave, no family support, isolated and unable to manage her own life. Have you ever been near this situation?

Living with an emotionally abusive person can make you doubt your own survival skills. Step by step, you begin denying and forgetting your own capacity to make yourself happy and healthy. Giving in to his pressure and negative images about you shapes your mindset, and changes your perspective about who you are, your worth as a person and of course, your life purpose.

Having to choose from being emotionally diminished by him and survival is tough: you feel like you have no options, and at the same time, you can’t leave!

You’re probably asking yourself, “What is left that I can do for myself?” If it becomes difficult to come up with an answer, you need help.

Exactly at this moment, you need a support system that can provide you with a vision of what is possible for you in order to survive.

Who is going to give you a strong inspiration to develop your own self-esteem? Who will help you recover a sense of “self-control” to manage your life? Let me help you start. Let’s have a free 30 minute chat. I want to help you get your life back!

You don’t have to stay in an unhealthy relationship one more minute. Please, visit this page to ask for your coaching session.