Tag Archives: Self Perception

emotional abuse

Conflicts and Your Self-Esteem

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Self-esteem is a  very personal feeling.  It is how we feel or perceive ourselves.   When one has poor self-esteem, he/she might feel very limited especially when confronted with conflict.  If a person doesn’t feel she has the skills to address the conflicts in her life, self-esteem may continue to deteriorate.  All lives experience conflict, so if you experience difficulties dealing with them, you are not alone.  But, having a strong self-esteem helps a lot to understand what’s going on, and what needs to be done to solve them.


What can be applied to boost self esteem?  Acknowledging that it is low is the all-important first step.  A person who wants to improve her self-perception must be willing to take steps toward that goal.  It’s not always easy, but it’s worth it.


Conflicts make people uncomfortable.  Knowing how to manage conflict and then managing it successfully boosts self-esteem.  If you suffer from self-esteem issues and conflict leaves you feeling helpless, give the following some thought.


1.  Conflict must be addressed and accepted.  Ignoring conflict rarely makes it go away. Successfully confronting the negativity of conflict  can be very satisfying.

2.  Make the choice to engage in a conflict without escalating the problem.  This can be done by keeping angry feelings under control, and refraining from revenge and hostility. Present your feelings or disappointment calmly.

3.  Listening is very important.  Listen to the person with whom the conflict exists.  He/she has a point of view and also wants to be heard.

4.  Examine the part you may have played in the conflict.  You need not accept all the blame, but be sincere in your examination.

5.  Lastly, try to learn something from the conflict.  After examining how you may have contributed, think about how you might do things differently (better) in the future to reconnect with the person with whom you’ve experienced the conflict.


Learn more about increasing your self-esteem in Boosting Self-Esteem:  Be Your Own Heroine, which can be found here. Remember: working through conflict successfully can be an esteem booster.  

abusive behavior, healing from abuse, healing from emotional abuse, verbal abuse

Creating a new, more positive self-image day by day

Developing your self-image is a task that you need to do today! Nobody can replace you in this, and its time that you can see the huge difference it makes in your life having a positive self-image compared with the one your overly critical parents gave you…

How you see yourself goes a long way to how you feel about yourself; how do you present yourself to others and how others see you and think of you. If you think positively on the inside then you will glow with confidence on the outside and will come across this way to others. Feeling good about yourself is essential if you are to be happy in life and make the most out of life. It can make the difference of you being successful or failing, and it is in your hands.

People suffer from low self-esteem for many reasons, and if they have been brought up perceiving only negative aspects to themselves, then developing a positive self-image will be difficult, but not impossible. Developing a positive outlook is about changing your thoughts and feelings about yourself and if you have been thinking negative thoughts for a long time changing the habit will take some time.

However by creating a new way of thinking and sticking to this new way of self-perception you will eventually banish unwanted negative feelings and will automatically replace them with positive ones in your day to day life. When this happens your outlook changes and with your outlook, you change. Where once you might have thought something would be beyond your capabilities you will now look at it in a different light and begin to realize that having a strong personality is within your grasp.

There are many ways to develop a more positive self-image and esteem. There are self-help books available dedicated to the subject, audio sessions which you listen and follow, DVDS, hypnotherapy audio or attending counselling sessions. They all however rely basically on the same principle, understanding what confidence really is, gaining confidence in yourself, ridding yourself of negative beliefs and replacing them with positive ones and learning strategies which allow you to remain confident in any situation.

The basics behind developing a more positive outlook and self-image are:

• Thinking about the positive aspects of your self-image and understanding what they mean to you;
• Getting to know yourself better, recognizing your strengths and building on those strengths;
• Moving forward and constantly changing negative thoughts into more positive ones;
• Reflecting on what you have learnt and seeing the positive changes you are making to your life, and feeling pride.

We all talk to ourselves at one time or another and we may find ourselves continually putting ourselves down and are very slow to praise ourselves. We are doing to ourselves the same nasty, discouraging lack of appreciation our parents did to us! This must be changed now. We want to change unhelpful self-talk and replace it with positive and encouraging self-talk.
The easiest way to do this is by:

• Getting rid of irrational thoughts (“I’m always the worst”) and replace them with rational ones
• Replace negative thoughts and feelings with positive images
• Give yourself credit and be proud of your accomplishments
• Repeat positive affirmations to yourself when needed throughout the day

You need to be consistent in replacing negative appreciations with positive ones….In this way, you will balance the weight of past critiques with appreciation and self-esteem, which in turn will make doing great things possible!