Tag Archives: Positive Outlook

abusive behavior, healing from abuse, healing from emotional abuse, verbal abuse

Creating a new, more positive self-image day by day

Developing your self-image is a task that you need to do today! Nobody can replace you in this, and its time that you can see the huge difference it makes in your life having a positive self-image compared with the one your overly critical parents gave you…

How you see yourself goes a long way to how you feel about yourself; how do you present yourself to others and how others see you and think of you. If you think positively on the inside then you will glow with confidence on the outside and will come across this way to others. Feeling good about yourself is essential if you are to be happy in life and make the most out of life. It can make the difference of you being successful or failing, and it is in your hands.

People suffer from low self-esteem for many reasons, and if they have been brought up perceiving only negative aspects to themselves, then developing a positive self-image will be difficult, but not impossible. Developing a positive outlook is about changing your thoughts and feelings about yourself and if you have been thinking negative thoughts for a long time changing the habit will take some time.

However by creating a new way of thinking and sticking to this new way of self-perception you will eventually banish unwanted negative feelings and will automatically replace them with positive ones in your day to day life. When this happens your outlook changes and with your outlook, you change. Where once you might have thought something would be beyond your capabilities you will now look at it in a different light and begin to realize that having a strong personality is within your grasp.

There are many ways to develop a more positive self-image and esteem. There are self-help books available dedicated to the subject, audio sessions which you listen and follow, DVDS, hypnotherapy audio or attending counselling sessions. They all however rely basically on the same principle, understanding what confidence really is, gaining confidence in yourself, ridding yourself of negative beliefs and replacing them with positive ones and learning strategies which allow you to remain confident in any situation.

The basics behind developing a more positive outlook and self-image are:

• Thinking about the positive aspects of your self-image and understanding what they mean to you;
• Getting to know yourself better, recognizing your strengths and building on those strengths;
• Moving forward and constantly changing negative thoughts into more positive ones;
• Reflecting on what you have learnt and seeing the positive changes you are making to your life, and feeling pride.

We all talk to ourselves at one time or another and we may find ourselves continually putting ourselves down and are very slow to praise ourselves. We are doing to ourselves the same nasty, discouraging lack of appreciation our parents did to us! This must be changed now. We want to change unhelpful self-talk and replace it with positive and encouraging self-talk.
The easiest way to do this is by:

• Getting rid of irrational thoughts (“I’m always the worst”) and replace them with rational ones
• Replace negative thoughts and feelings with positive images
• Give yourself credit and be proud of your accomplishments
• Repeat positive affirmations to yourself when needed throughout the day

You need to be consistent in replacing negative appreciations with positive ones….In this way, you will balance the weight of past critiques with appreciation and self-esteem, which in turn will make doing great things possible!

abusive behavior, emotional abuse, healing from abuse, healing from emotional abuse, verbal abuse

Steps to healing: accepting yourself

In the process of recovering our self-esteem, there are several little steps that bring a lot of joy. Once you have decided that the view of you that he is promoting has more to do with his sick fantasies than with your reality, then you begin to detach.

Detaching is making some space between his perceptions of you, and who you are. The person who you are is not decided and described by him; now you have begun to be your own person.

Good or bad, you are who you decide to be….it is exhilarating to realize that you can be yourself and not depend on anybody else to tell you how valuable or unworthy you are…

Once you take stock of who you are, warts and all, you can begin by rejoicing of your new freedom! Be happy about freeing yourself; of only depending on yourself for deciding about your life. You can even allow yourself a bit of panic thinking: “what if I need something and I can’t get that by myself?” and the answer is…..’I will find a way, because I’m a resourceful and resilient person!”

Feeling secure and happy about yourself is one of the strongest points in having a healthy relationship with any partner. Remember: you are your own person, and you make yourself happy with your decisions…

For instance: Taking care of yourself by eating right will boost your self-esteem. With a high self-esteem, comes confidence and happiness within yourself. When you are happy about yourself, it’s easy to be happy towards others especially your partner. You are sending the message that you can provide your own peace of mind, so others don’t imagine that it would be easy to control you! This is a shield of protection around you that sends a strong message to potential mates.

Being carefree and self-reliant has also more benefits… You are self-centered in a good way; when you are with or without your partner, you don’t worry about what she or he is doing. Fill self-confident about yourself and carefree about the relationship because you expect good things only.
Of course, you already know how to spot signals of abuse, so now you can say: “I’d prefer you not to treat me in this way: I’m too valuable to be here waiting for you to finish having a conversation with your friends while we postpone going together for dinner. Can you make up your mind and tell me if we are going together, now? There are other things I need to pay attention also…”
And here you are now: positioning yourself in a place of equality and respect….congratulations!